Oh my goodness, he can do things!

It’s craziness how much I can see our Little Man growing up.  I noticed that he’s much longer than he used to be — his little feet hang over the edge of the Boppy when I nurse him now.  He stands up if you hold him; he’s able to support his own weight on his legs and he gets SO EXCITED when he stands!  He’s all, ‘Look guys, I’m doing  this!’ and panting all heavy with excitement.  It’s a riot.  

Little Man also has way more hand-eye coordination now.  He can focus on an object and hit it intentionally.  Just today, he was able to take this elephant toy we inherited from someone (it’s kind of a weird toy… why do babies always like the weird toys?) from me and bring it to his mouth.  Such steps!  So proud!  

He’s getting pretty good with his head and is able to hold it up pretty well when he’s on his tummy, but his head is just so gol-darn HUGE.  Unfortunately, he’s gotten this from his mother (seriously, I wear a 7.5 hat and I’m only a touch over five feet tall).  It’s going to take a bit more strength training on his part in order to really get control over it.  

It’s funny.  I’m so excited to see all of these little developments that he’s making all the time, but there’s a little part of me to see him lose some of his baby-ness.  He still likes to snuggle and he’s still adorable, but more and more I’m seeing a kid instead of a baby when I look at him.  I alternate between begging him in my mind to go to sleep in his crib so that I can clean the house and write blog posts and wanting to hold him and never, ever put him down.  


Little Man’s Fifth Week of Life: 5/29-6/5

Note: I know that this is out of order, but it never got published for some reason.  Sorry about that.  

The only thing that I can remember from this week (isn’t that awful?  I’m forgetting things already!) is that L came over and we took Little Man and the Peanut over to our school for the carnival day that they do there every year.  It was great to get to see all of the people at work and to have SO MANY of the kids be able to see Little Man.  They all thought that both babies were adorable (how could they not?) and both Little Man and Peanut kept up their trick of not being awake at the same time.  They are so cute!  

Little Man did turn one month old this week!  We took pictures to celebrate and he was NOT happy about the hat I put on his head.  It lasted all of about two minutes.  Such a man — strong willed and not willing to put up with anything.  🙂

July 11-13 2013

There have been a few developments over here.  L and Peanut came over this week and the babies were looking at each other and talking to each other!  It was amazing!  And the most adorable thing that I have ever seen.  They just looked each other in the eye (I think) and smiled and talked that special language that only babies understand.  Amazing.  Friends already.  🙂

We also got our monitor in the mail the other day (we opted for a video monitor — mostly for when Little Man gets older and can start playing in his crib instead of just sleeping in it!) and we put him in his own room in his crib.  He’s slept there the last two nights.  The first night I sat in the livingroom pumping (he’d only snacked on one side before bed) and staring at him on the monitor.  While I had been a little anxious (what if I can’t hear him breathing?!) at first, it was comforting that I could see him and know that he was okay.  

In other snoozing news, he occasionally sleeps in his bouncy seat in the livingroom without us holding him!  I still love snuggling with him and it doesn’t work all of the time, but it is nice to be able to throw in a load of laundry or type a blog entry (like I’m doing now!) without having him physically attached to me.  This is big news around here.  

Who is this Little Man?

I realized that I have spent all of this time telling you about all of the things that Little Man has done, but I have spent zero time telling you about who Little Man is.  

Aside from all of the intangibles (namely, being the smartest, most handsome baby on the block), he has all of these precious things about him that help make him who he is.  He’s just starting to discover his hands.  He doesn’t always know what to do with them, but he reaches for things now and tries to bat at things with his fist.  He’s so strong.  He stands when you hold him on his feet and yesterday he was pulling on my fingers like he was working his back and arm muscles.  He smells like heaven and I love muzzling his hair when he’s sleeping on me.  His nose is past the squished newborn phase and is starting to look very pointed and distinguished.  He has Teacher Man’s eyelashes (thank God) and the are long and beautiful.  His eyes, though, are the real killer.  Perfectly blue, totally expressive, he stares at things forever.  I love the way he looks at me when he’s nursing — like we’re the only two beings in existence.  It melts my heart.  

But then there are these peeks of his personality that we’re just starting to see.  He smiles when you blow in his face or when you whistle near him.  He mimics the way Teacher Man sticks his tongue out at him.  He’s happy now in the bath and when we change his diaper.  He thinks it’s hilarious when he’s peed through his diaper.  He smiles and smiles.  He’s also VERY anxious to be moving and once he gets his legs going, there’s no stopping him — he just kicks and kicks forever.  

And as light and fun and happy as he is, he’s also the sweetest baby.  He snuggles right into you in the same spot when he’s sleepy.  He sighs these little sighs when he’s falling asleep on my shoulder after I’ve burped him.  A total snuggle-bug when he wants to be.  

I’ve known him for so long, it seems.  Yet, every day I learn a little more about him.  And this makes me happy.  

Little Man’s Tenth Week of Life: 7/3-7/10

This was a red-letter week for our Little Man.  

It was his first 4th of July!  We went over to Teacher Man’s parents’ house for a barbecue.  It’s always fun to have relatives around because I don’t have to worry about holding him as much.  🙂  On the flip side, it’s taking us some time to figure out how to travel with the Little Man.  For example, at some point we’re going to have to figure out a regular bedtime for him and then decide whether we stay out past that or make sure that we get home in time for him to go to bed.  It’s a work in progress and we’re learning as we go, right?

We also went to the doctor for his two-month checkup!  There were lots of shots (for vaccinations), but Little Man handled them like a champ.  When we got to the doctor, the nurse was very helpful and showed us how to give him Tylenol (and how much to give him).  We were all set for a large round of shots when the doctor came in and told us that he would only be getting one shot that day as the nurse shouldn’t have given Little Man Tylenol.  She cited a study (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFlu/tylenol-shots-hurt-vaccines-effectiveness/story?id=8840239#.Ud9k8UG-2uI) where the effectiveness of the immunizations was lowered when the babies received Tylenol ahead of time.  So, we got to go back the next day and get LOTS of shots.  Little Man was great, though, and was only a little fussy on Tuesday (though, we did give him some Tylenol that night has he was crabby and a little feverish).  

Teacher Man and I also left him with Teacher Man’s sister while we went to a soccer game.  I’m getting better about leaving him, but I still don’t really like it.  I start missing him about five minutes in.  Even when we’re home and he’s hanging out with Teacher Man, I miss him.  He’s just so cute and I feel so responsible for him.  

Little Man is getting so strong!  He’ll stand up when you hold him on his feet and he gets SO EXCITED.  He starts moving his arms around and breathing really fast; it’s adorable.  🙂  It’s so hard to believe that he’s as old as he is and that he’s changed so much in just the two months that he’s been out in the world.  

Little Man’s Ninth Week of Life: 6/26-7/3

Holy cow, we have hit a milestone!  Little Man slept for seven hours straight!  It’s complete and total insanity and I woke up completely freaked out and hoping that he was still alive!  He still sleeps in a cradle in our room, so I could hear him and everything, but wow.  I felt like a new and refreshed woman after that much sleep.  Did I use to feel this good all the time?  Was that a real thing?  

We took Little Man with a few other Friends With Babies (FWBs) to his first beer festival — the North American Organic Beer Festival.  We usually wouldn’t bring him with us, but this festival is big and spread out and held in a park with a lot of space and shade.  So, it was really more of a picnic where there happened to be beer.  It was fun to hang out with all the other babies and their moms — since the babies were born all at about the same time, it’s fun to compare notes with the other moms.  We had a good time, but it started to get late and Little Man was NOT shy about letting us know that he was tired and wanted to get some sleep.  We willingly obliged and he slept for SIX hours straight!  I’m not naive enough to think that this is going to last, but it’s nice that he’s starting to lengthen his sleep during the night a little bit.  

Little Man turned two months old this week!  It’s insane to think about.  I love him so much and I can’t imagine him not being a part of our lives, much less that he wasn’t even out of the womb a little over two months ago!  We had a photo shoot with L’s little Peanut and the babies looked adorable.  Now I just need to find the time to develop the photos (via Lightroom, not the old-school way) so I can get them printed.  

It was also SO HOT around Sunday and Monday of this week.  I was a little worried about Little Man at night; we don’t have air conditioning at our house and i wanted to make sure that he wasn’t overheating when he was sleeping.  We spent a little time with Teacher Man’s parents at their house (they have air conditioning and very cool basement) to help make sure that Little Man was staying at a good temperature.  We also give him a little extra time playing in the bathtub to cool him down a little bit.  Teacher Man and I were living on Fudgesicles.  We also took Little Man to the mall to walk around for a bit.  It cooled him off quite a bit and he really likes his walks, so it was pleasant for all of us.  🙂

I also took Little Man over to one of our friend’s houses who had a baby a couple of weeks before he was born.  It’s crazy to be able to look into the future a little bit with their baby — to be able to see where he’ll be in a couple of weeks.  The only thing about this particular visit was the Little Man decided that he was going to be fussy the entire time.  It’s the first time I’ve been out with him and a little embarrassed/ frustrated with his behavior.  I mean, I know he’s a baby and I know he’s going to be fussy, but it’s the first time where I was in that position.  Not a fan.  

Little Man’s strength has developed quite a bit.  He holds his head pretty well (though he sometimes tries to use it like a battering ram still) and he’s started to reach for things, which is pretty fun to watch!

Little Man’s Eighth Week of Life: 6/19-6/26

There wasn’t too much red-letter stuff this week.  Mostly, we hung out at home and ran some errands.  Spending this quality time together this summer has been such a blessing!  I’m trying hard to really relish in it because I know it won’t be like this forever (especially when we hopefully have more kids).  

On Saturday, Teacher Man decided that he was going to take Little Man on a run in the jogging stroller.  Little Man was having none of it.  First of all, we put a hat on him (which he kind of hates?) and then he was forced to sit upright in the stroller (something he’s never done before).  They made it a little ways, but not too far.  Still, point for trying.  

On the 25th, Teacher Man and I had our anniversary (two years!).  We went out for dinner and it was the first time we went anywhere and left Little Man with someone other than either one of us.  Teacher Man’s mom and sister came over to watch Little Man.  I knew he was going to be fine (there very capable people), but I also went through a few panicky moments while I was getting ready.  I managed to get through the explanation of where everything is and got in the car without any problems.  Good for me!  

This is more Momma-news than baby-news,  but I had my first alcoholic beverage when we were at dinner.  And let me tell you what, I FELT that!  I could instantly feel the alcohol in my legs (does that happen to anyone else?  does that make sense?).  I don’r ever remember being that much of a lightweight!  Still, it was pretty fun to be able to drink a little bit again.  

I was totally completely emotionally fine until the middle of dinner when Teacher Man decided that he would turn to me and ask, “So, are you okay being without Little Man?”  I immediately got all teary and Teacher Man went into panic mode: “I’m sorry!  Are you okay?”  It was a rough moment.  It’s so weird to be without Little Man.  

It’s especially weird at times because he INSISTS on napping while being held.  We’ve been trying to get him to sleep in different places so he doesn’t get totally dependent on one environment, but it is not going well so far.  And I can’t, I just can’t let him cry it out.  I don’t mind him fussing and I don’t mind him crying for a couple of minutes and making him wait a beat to pick him up, but crying it out is just so not an option for my poor little heart.  So, consequently, we spend a lot of time snuggled on the couch which is GREAT for snuggling and bonding, and smelling his sweet smell, but it is not good for dusting and all of the other things that need to happen.  “Just let the housework go,” people say.  “Spend time with your baby!”  There are two problems with this mindset: 1) there comes a point where you have to clean, you just have to.  For your own sanity.  For the health of your family.  Whatever.  2) I feel good when I do housework.  I’m one of those crazy people who gets satisfaction from doing housework and having a clean home.  I do what I can when I can, but it’s not where I want it to be.  

So, as always, we’re working on it.  

Little Man’s Seventh Week of Life: 6/12-6/19

So much happened this week that was noteworthy.  On Saturday, my brother graduated from college and the whole family was in town to celebrate (and, obviously, go to the graduation).  This was the first long-ish car ride that Little Man had ever taken (it was only a couple of hours) and he was a champ, meaning that he slept the whole way there and back!  The other thing of note about the graduation ceremony itself (aside from, you know, my brother graduating), was the I managed to nurse Little Man IN STADIUM SEATS.  I tell you, I deserve an honorary degree just for that!  It was also monstrously hot out, so Teacher Man took the baby into the shade for part of the ceremony.  Nothing like cuddling a tiny heat source when it’s 90 degrees outside.  🙂

As if that wasn’t enough news for the week, Little Man also got baptized on Sunday, June 16th, Father’s Day.  While Teacher Man’s family wasn’t able to make it (it’s a long story), my family was there and Little Man’s godfather who is a seminarian for the Archdiocese of San Francisco flew in as well.  Godfather is a good friend of mine from my college days and I’m SO excited to have him play that special role in Little Man’s life.  His godmother is my next-youngest sister and she is going to be excellent as well — she was so touched when we asked her to be godmother that she cried a little bit.  🙂  So sweet.

The baptism was great, even though there were about nine baptisms that day!  The weather was perfect, Little Man was an angel, and everyone was happy.  I spent most of the day holding Little Man (when I could tear him away from my family!) and smelling his little chrismed head.  Seriously, it’s like heaven.

This week was also a turning point because Little Man started smiling real smiles!  And by real smiles I mean ones that aren’t associated with gas, eating, or pooping!  My heart just melts every single time that I get that goofy little grin from him.  It makes all of those late night/ early morning wake-ups worth it.

Small aside: Have you ever noticed that toothless smiles are adorable on babies, but creepy on adults?

Little Man also has a play mat now that he LOVES playing on.  It’s one of those where he lays down and stuff hangs just out of reach.  He especially likes the mirror.  This is a stark turn of events because when he was younger (how can I even possibly be saying that?) he would avoid all mirrors; seriously, if you turned him toward one, he would turn away and refuse to look at himself.  He develops so rapidly, and it makes my heart so happy.

Little Man’s Sixth Week of Life: 6/5-6/12

From what I can remember, not much happened this week.  We did meet with the person who will be watching Little Man when Teacher Man and I start back to work in August.  She’s a wonderful woman who was recommended by a couple of other teachers at school.  The meeting/checking out her place went well and I know that she will do a great job of taking care of Little Man.  

I just wish that I could take care of him myself.  I couldn’t help but cry in the car on the way home.  The tears were slowly falling down my face and I was trying not to let Teacher Man see.  There’s no fooling him, though.  With some gentle prodding, all of my emotions came flooding out.  

It kills me to think that there will be things that he does that I won’t be there to witness.  What if his first steps happen when I’m not there?  What if he likes her more than he likes me?  What if he screams the whole time and I won’t be there to comfort him?  I want to be there for all of those moments; I don’t want to miss any point in his life.  Sure, there will be times when he’s in school or off to college or an adult where I don’t get to see things firsthand.  But, he’s so cute and small and squishy and defenseless.  How am I supposed to just turn him over to someone else?  She won’t love him and watch him and teach him in the same way I can.  Why am I turning over my child to someone else so that I can teach other people’s children?  

Obviously, this isn’t something that I just thought about the one time.  This is an issue that bites me day after day.  I get anxious even thinking about August and leaving him.  I cry almost every night after putting him to bed.  How am I supposed to juggling all of the things that go along with teaching and still be able to spend time with him and teach him and love him the way that I should?  

I wish more than (almost) anything else, that I would be able to stay home with him.  Nothing would make me happier.  But, bills must be paid and health insurance must be had.  Unless Teacher Man gets a better-paying job, I find a way to work from home, or we win the lottery, I’ll be working.  Granted, I will be only part-time next year, but, let’s be honest, part-time for a teacher isn’t really part-time.  

So, I’ll be spending the rest of the summer trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I’ll have to leave him.  Every day.  And try and find some way for it not to rip me in half.  

Little Man’s Fourth Week of Life: 5/22-5/29

Sorry that all of these posts are coming in digest form.  I do want to start writing more on daily basis, but I think it’s important to catch up on the more significant events of Little Man’s life from before now.  Don’t worry, we’re about halfway there!

Teacher Man and I again spent much of this week just enjoying baby snuggles, running random errands, swapping holding for naps, changing diapers, and generally acting like a giant milk bag (well, that last one was just me).  

Most important red-letter thing that happened this week was the celebration of my 30th birthday.  I never thought that there would be three infants at my 30th birthday, but there were and it was awesome.  L, her husband, and Peanut were there, as was another family that had a baby two weeks before Little Man, and another couple who are pregnant and due with their baby in September.  So, it was a little crazy, but a lot of fun!  We just had a relaxed barbecue and spent most of the time hanging out, chatting, and passing the babies around.  It was perfect and I feel so blessed to have so many good friends and the cutest little baby boy ever!